friend dating loser

What do I say to a friend who’s dating a loser?

My friend was just asked out and this is her first boyfriend. He’s a loser and has dated other girls in our group. I want to tell her that he’s just trying to get a girlfriend because he is obviously going around the group, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings because it is her first boyfriend. Any suggestions?

Say nothing, you will only hurt her feelings if you tell her you think her boyfriend is a loser, and especially so if you tell her that you think she isn’t special to him, just next on his list as he goes around the group. If you can’t tell her anything that she doesn’t already know (eg if he was cheating on her and she didn’t know that), then don’t tell her things that are merely your observations which she could really make on her own. You’ll only risk your friendship if you do that!
She must be aware of his history with the other girls seeing as she is in your friendship group too, and yet she has made the choice to date him. I know it’s hard, but sometimes we have to step back and let our friends make their own mistakes. I wouldn’t say anything negative to her about him, especially not if it’s unsolicited. Be tactfully honest if she specifically asks you though. For the sake of the friendship, I’d avoid being too negative about her boyfriend; just be there to pick up the pieces and be her shoulder to cry on when it’s over.

Dating Losers